Somedays I feel so lost. So unimportant. Like I don't make much of a difference. Where I feel as if no matter how hard I try, I live my life in a revolving door. As if I'm making the same mistakes over and over again.
Other days I feel like my life is coming together. Where I can see a future. One that I no longer am lost in. The good days. Days where I can see goals at hand, and feel as if I'm moving forward once again in my life.
And then there are days where I feel like I'm in some sort of limbo between the two. Where I hardly cease to exist emotionally because I feel completely emotionless. These are the days I hate the most.
Today was one of those days, until I received the nicest compliment from my old youth pastors, mom. She's always been the kindest of ladies. And today I got a message asking if there was anything that she could do for me. But that wasn't the only thing. She also told me that she thought I was an amazing lady. And that brought a tear to my eye. Not in any sad way, but in a way that someone sees me for something better than I see myself.
To me, I'm just ordinary with some not so ordinary situations I had to face. I've never thought I was anything special. I've always just been, well, me. I've never wanted to be in the "limelight", yet so many things have thrown me into the center of attention. None of that has ever made me feel better about myself. In fact it usually just made me feel worse. I'm the person that usually loves to give attention to others.
Needless to say, hearing that someone think that I'm honestly an "amazing lady", made my night.
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