Sad

Yeah, I'm happy.  And yes, I am depressed at the same time.  If that is even possible.  I've got a lot of great things in my life.  But, I'm so lonely.  I feel like I don't really have many people left in my life that I can truly count on.  I have 3 people in my life (besides my family) that really know me, and whom I truly trust.

Yesterday one of those people moved away.  I dunno.  It just sucks.  Makes me feel like my life is still standing in place while everyone else runs forward.  I guess what bums me out is that I didn't even get to see her before she left, due to me being sick and the I guess there being no time after that.  I guess I just feel so disposable to everyone.  I dunno, maybe I am.

Blah.  I need to get these stupid thoughts out of my head.  And I know I'm just rambling now, but I needed to have some sort of outlet.  I keep holding all this stuff inside, and it really is eating away at me.  I'm back to losing weight (the unhealthy way).

I just need friends.  I really wish my grandma was still around.

Life.

I've had a lot of time to surf the internet and listen to music today.  Something I haven't had much time to do lately.  Guess that's the nice part about being sick.  Either way, I have been doing a lot of research into going back to school.  Trying to figure out what I exactly want to go back for.  And in the past couple months and talking it out, I think I have an inkling.  Not that it was something I, nor anyone else ever thought.  But there is a big part of me really wanting to go back to school for forensic science.

Everyone has always seen me as a writer, barista, sick girl.  I'm ready to be the adult version of myself.  Not that I'm not that already, but I'm ready to take that big step from my past and even more in the right direction.  I'm ready to open a new chapter in my life.  I'm ready for so many things.  Maybe this is a sign that I'm really finally becoming the person that I have spent 27 years developing.

Disappointed...

    So, I am not necessarily one to share my views on politics very often.  I can't stand conflict, and politics seem to cause just that.  But that is beside the fact.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and beliefs, and people should respect one another despite their opinions.  At least that is how I was raised.

     Needless to say, when I saw this at work today, I felt very discouraged.  Why do we feel the need as GROWN adults, to act like children (sometimes even worse).  I just wish, as human beings, we could learn to be more tolerant.  We don't have to agree with someone, but there is no need for the put downs.

I guess I just don't understand how people can be so hateful.  Grow up!

Some days I have so much to say, and other days I have very little to say.  Sometimes I just have a hard time putting my words into thoughts.  My life is fantastic, but it took a lot of learning and life lessons to get here.  It's taken lost friendships, and new friendships.  Some of it makes me sad to think about, but there is a lot that has made me happy.  I have really grown into the person I want to be.  I can't imagine myself anywhere else.

For once in my life, I have began to feel like I'm traveling on the right path for once.  It's definitely a nice change of pace.