Empowerment.

Tonight, I feel...empowered.  It's a mix of everything in my life right now.  I am turning myself in all these right directions.  For one time in my life, I am honestly proud of myself.  In the course of 3 years I have watched myself come from the depths of despair, to this blossoming flower.  My life has been in so many places those last 3 years too.  It's had ups, and it's had downs.  But for once, I've got it by the reigns.  I'm excited for where it is heading.

Like, going through being promoted at work.  It's a lot of work, but I'm excited.  I've been excited ever since I found out that I was even being considered to be promoted.  It makes me feel like my life is falling back into place.  Back where it was when I left off.  But better.  I'm in a better state mentally, and a better life situation.  I feel like a grown up again.  I don't have to rely on everyone to take care of me, but I was allowed to have some of the responsibility for myself again.

Kyle has been a big help.  He helps me see myself in a more positive light.  And, its definitely nice to have someone who will play with Lego's with you.  He is really the one who keeps me on the right path.

But the whole thing that set this empowerment feeling in motion, was work tonight.  At our meeting tonight, just all of us baristas putting our heads together and organizing our stores.  It was awesome.  And it made me proud.  Proud to work for a company that allows and encourages all of its partners to get involved.  And it is so awesome to see everyone work together.  It makes me proud to be part of this group of people.


Bahh...I know I'm being sappy, but I just can't help it.  I suppose that means it is time for bed.

Just some thoughts....

When one door closes, another opens.  That's been on my mind a lot lately.  I have closed the door to some things in my life.  These closed doors have made me a little sad, but I am stronger because of it.

I've watched some friendships slip just beyond the saving point.  And though somedays I wish things would just go back, in the long run I wouldn't change things for the world.

It's weird.  I never used to have a good self esteem.  But for once I think positively about myself.  I know that what I'm doing in life is good for me.  It's awesome, and I'm so proud of myself.  I'm proud that I've stood my ground and not given into things that are part of that old vicious cycle.  I've mentally grown so much this past year or so, and I'm not going back.